|
|
Christian Indie Radio
GetChristianMusic
Solid Walnut Music
|
|
|
|
|
|
Devotionals
|
|
Cartoons
Culture
Family
Games
Health
Homeschooling
Humor
Inspiration
Kids
Men
Ministry
Parenting
Poetry
Teens
Women
|
|
Statement of Faith
Contact Us
|
|
|
|
Showers for the Tender Harvest--"Let my teaching fall like showers on tender plants." - Deuteronomy 32:2
Creative Conflict
by Jill Nelson (Jill's bio)
Send this page to a friend
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12: 11 (NIV)
Conflict is inevitable in children's ministry, because children will always test their limits. A part of our calling as children's ministers (and parents, as the case may be) is to help our charges define and respect healthy limits in order that we may foster an atmosphere for the Holy Spirit to work effectively.
It is our challenge to find creative ways to deal with these uncomfortable situations. In a spirit of fellowship, I offer the following acronym to help us deal with the inevitable in the grace and wisdom of God.
C – Communicate classroom behavior expectations clearly and at the children's level of understanding. Repeat the expectations often and in interesting ways. During a children's crusade in another community, I found it highly effective to make colorful posters of simple rules and have different child volunteers hold them up each session as the group read them aloud together. The kids loved it when they got special recognition and a treat for helping out. If you have clearly communicated the rules, when a conflict arises, you can legitimately ask the child or group to repeat to you the proper standard of behavior. That way, the offender(s) stand convicted by their own mouth(s) and not merely yours.
O – Offer the offender a graceful way to back down from confrontation. No one likes to be humiliated and such tactics never provide lastingly beneficial results.
N – Neutralize situations quickly and decisively—-in advance, if possible. Sometimes this can be as simple as rearranging the seating. This comes from knowing your children and determining who can sit by whom profitably. A habitual troublemaker may benefit from being seated between a pair of older and/or more mature children, or having a special place next to an adult or teen helper (if any).
F – Frequently find reasons to praise each child and encourage the group in regard to good behavior. Even when rebuke or correction is necessary, find a way to temper it with kindness.
L – "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4: 29 (KJV) Corrupt communication is not confined to vulgarity or profanity; it also includes any derogatory terms that might wound the spirit and degrade the soul. Address the issue, not the value of the individual.
I – Incorporate incentives to repent into your methods of correction. People, children included, tend to choose the behavior that gets them the most rewarding response. This may require a bit of prayer and Holy Ghost sleuthing into the thought processes of the particular child. Each of us has different prime motivations and desires. Some children are so hungry for attention, they misbehave to get it. If you offer a way for their good behavior to net them the attention they crave, you may find yourself with a highly responsible, natural-born leader on your hands, instead of that hooligan you'd like to ship to Antarctica.
C – Consistency. Consistency. Consistency. 'Nuff said.
T – Take time to pray before, during, and after class. If the opportunity presents, pray directly with the offender and offer ready forgiveness.
As a children's minister, it is necessary that you ensure your class members show respect toward you, their classmates, and the property of others. Sometimes this requires firm discipline that may not be pleasant at the time. However, properly handled, conflict presents us an opportunity to strengthen, rather than damage relationships.
Copyright 2002, Jill Nelson. All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
| About Jill Nelson: Children have been the focus of Jill Nelson's ministry for twenty years. She and her husband have four--two boys, two girls--all teenagers. (Prayers, please.) Jill supervises the children's ministry at her local church and delights in writing her own material. Her heart is to glorify God by guiding children into a powerful personal relationship with Him. E-mail Jill |
Send this page to a friend: